I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
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