He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
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