How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
Randomize
