Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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