I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
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