p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
i came on her dog
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
