i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Randomize
