I only kidnapped one of them. chill
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
In other news, I just burned my penis
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
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