There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
