Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
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