I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
