I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Randomize
