it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
Randomize
