I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
