Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
I seem to have left my pride at pride
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Randomize
