Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
