Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize