I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
