Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
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