who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
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