Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
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