I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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