Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
