you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
Omg I joined a choir last night...
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
