Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
Randomize
