She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
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