I need help removing her.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
