his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
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