Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
Randomize
