I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
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