Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
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Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
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That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
How does one acquire holy water?
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
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