he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
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