I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Randomize
