i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Randomize
