If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
Princesses don't give blow jobs
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
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