PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Randomize
