So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
I just cut my nipple shaving
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Randomize
