so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Randomize
