yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
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