So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
