How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Randomize
