hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
is that a dick in a sweater?
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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