Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
I just forgot I was standing up.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Randomize
