This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Randomize
