I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Randomize
