you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
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