Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
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