look no pants
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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