Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
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He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
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Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
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