all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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