theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
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yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
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to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
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