If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
I wish you could order shots online.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Randomize
