You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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