I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Randomize
