grandma shit on top of the toilet
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
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i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
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you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
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