my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
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