seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
