my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
Randomize
