How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
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