Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
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