i barfeds in our rink
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
