What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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